Blogging Archives - Pursuing Imperfection

Easy not to write and read

I am so distracted – crazy how time just runs away from me.

Distracted- deadlifts in the gym

I have felt already this year that I “wasted” blocks of time in the new year. I hate this feeling and I need to be better to schedule out my time.

I acknowledge that it is not being busy to be busy even when I feel that I do that also.

Distracted again: deadlifts last rep – be back

Back after a little PR on deadlifts and re-racking the weights 110kg x 10 -not bad

I use to think blocking time slots robbed my creativity or spontaneity. I come to the conclusion that the opposite is true.

Discipline to have time to be free enough – to be present in the creativity instead of thinking of everything that needs to be done or forgot to to do

This is Weber m where personal freedom lies. Creating a lifestyle that gives you the space to be you without pressures suffocating it all.

Jan 2

it’s Jan. 2nd and the doubt is thick

I feel like daniel in the lion’s den praying they don’t eat me and in this metaphor, the lion’s den is my own self-doubt and past failures

this is way being fat most of your life does to you

It robs you of your freedom by robbing you of peace of mind. the knot in my stomach is just anxiety that “I know, I will fail” AGAIN

It is this ghost that haunts constantly and erodes confidence

it whispers from under the stones that you are too scared to turn over.

the lack of confidence or worth that drives the emotional reasons and turmoil that lights the “survival” mechanisms.

I never met a gym trainer that hasn’t been overweight and understands the scaffolding of this.

It has been a lifelong battle full of frustration, disappointment, and restarts to end up fat again

That is why this attempt means so much.

Every time I need to restart the desire to do so is less and less. It seems an impossible task considering I have run 2022km in 2021 and been to the gym 163 times in 2022 and I am still fat.

It is not like I don’t try – the fittest obese man over 50 you will meet.

2021 and 2022 have been hypothesis testing-
Will running 40 km a week lose weight(for me): NO
Will going to the gym 3 times a week to lose weight: NO

What is left? Eating only Eating

I never thought I ate bad or even too much but I can conclude that those carbs I do eat make me store fat quicker than most.

I also can conclude that I don’t eat enough protein. 1.8 grams per KG I want to weigh.

therefore 2023 is all diet

High protein diet of good wholesome foods and protein shakes to get me to the protein number per day I need. I am aiming for 162 grams per day.

Doubt or not, this is the hypothesis for 2023

Blogging at the gym ?

Last day of the year thinking is is possible to blog at the gym? 🏋️‍♀️

Seems it’s possible to write ✍️ anywhere. In between Romanian deadlifts and now on the leg press at 156kg

Tomorrow is the 1st day of the new year and I will stop in the gym as the first and last day are the most important as it sets precedence with myself.

I have 2 years of reaching my resolutions and I plan to reach my New Year’s resolution 2023 also without exception.

2021 run 2000km | 2022 visit the gym 150 times and 2023 eat high protein everyday 150+grams and write it down.

It’s the real key 🔑 boiling habits down to easily attainable daily/weekly tasks and give yourself the dopamine hit by checking shit off

Above is the calendar I wrote in up until summer vacation where I had a steady routine. This year will be no different.

Leg press done ✅ – was going to do leg extensions but that machine is in use so I will do my nemesis machine – abduction

So I guess I can blog at the gym

Fat fingers and Autocorrect

Looks like I was able to get the WordPress app on IOS working after a small hiccup with jetpack. Boring technical stuff really.

I wanted to begin (~~bring~~) writing ✍️ again. I use to write poems, short stories, and journals 📓 regularly. This has all been lost ever the(~~three~~) years to FOMO and digital blindness.

To start, my thought 💭 process has been to make it as easy as possible. Hence the WordPress app on(in) my iPhone 📱. Then I can spin some thoughts and ideas 💡 more easily.

Writing is like exercise, the start is hard and most likely with the garbage 🗑️. I know in time with disciple and consistency things will flow. It may never be good for anything other than my own ramblings and that’s good enough.

I do know that my fat fingers and autocorrect collaborate to make a mess of my thoughts and my chicken scratch. They are rather mischievous 😏 cousins that cause trouble 😈. More trouble than when I was a teenager looking for trouble.

All autocorrect corrected items ~~have been struck through~~.

That’s the start – should be good 👍🏻